Family

Family, you can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em! Most things in life you can control, but no matter what choices you make in life, you cannot choose your family. So it's like it, or lump it.
Today, Aaron and I went to visit my parents, and no one was in the house. So, like I have been doing since I was twelve, I broke in, through a window. This is an age-old tradition, my parents have never been bothered about it before. So, when I went round again later, I didn't expect anything to come of it.
However, that was not the case. Apparently, my sister Mary, who in her divine wisdom feels its okay to tell me off, thought it was neccessary to tell me a few things.
1. When there is no one in the house, I'm not allowed to be there.
2. I'm no longer allowed to break into the house, apparently it is breaking and entering, which clearly my parents will totally prosecute me for.
3. When I argued that I should have a key, I was told I was not allowed a key, because it's not my house.
OUCH, I think myself and Aaron should stay away for a while and maybe start to treat the house as though it isn't where my family live. Whoops.
Anywho's , I've had my rant, and I'll get back to telling you all about my pregnancy. Lately, I'm totally excited about our little Brom. I'm happy to have a boy or a girl. As long as they're happy and healthy, I'll be the happiest lady alive. Slowly, I'm learning what's important in my life. My Aaron. He makes my heartbeat faster every moment. He's inside my heart, beating eternally. My baby, he/she will be here soon and they'll be welcomed into the world with open arms. My family, who are growing steadily. Obviously there's my three sisters, my parents, my extended family. And then there's my new family. Every now and then you meet people who make you realise that the world is a place full of love. I've been living with Aaron's mum Caron, and Gary/Richard for a few weeks now, and I already feel at home. Spending time with Aaron's niece, sister and Dad has also been lovely.
I feel truly blessed.

Out & About




Being pregnant has not stopped me from doing some epic exercise! Yesterday we cycled from here to Dovestones Reservoir, climbed up and down a mountain and cycled home again! My shoulders are burnt, my feet are tanned and I am aching from head to foot. WORTH IT.
It got me to thinking, how much can you do when you're pregnant, without affecting the baby.
I stumbled across an NHS lists of things you should and shouldn't be doing when pregnant.
'DO avoid any activity where there is a risk of falling over.'
'DON'T do any strenuous exercise in hot weather'
'When walking, try to stay on level ground'
I think I may have broken a few rules. Luckily, baby is still thumping away safe in my belly. So all seems fine. We had another doctors appointment day before yesterday. It was ridiculous. Basically, they told me everything I already knew, what to eat, what not to eat, what to be taking (i.e. folic acid), and then they made me do a pregnancy test. It was the fourth test I'd taken. How certain must they be? Apparently, they need to have it on record that I'm pregnant, so off I went to pee in a cup, only to be then told it takes them a week to process pee. I'd be better off running to the shop, getting a normal, pee on a stick pregnancy test, and proving it to them that way. Muggins.
So far, I'm really enjoying being home. Aaron and I have filled up our days with seeing friends, exercising possibly a little too much, and just generally enjoying our families and surroundings. One thing that does cross my mind is our lack of jobs. Within five days of being home we'd both gotten ourselves job interviews. Aaron's is next week, and I've had mine, waiting to see if they offer me a formal interview. After having a job for two and a half years, changing to doing nothing makes everyday feel like a weekend. For the most part, its extremely enjoyable, but then there is the worry that the job opportunities will never arise. Often feels like Aaron is going to be supporting us, which for me is a big no no. I like to share responsibility with him. We're a team at the end of the day. But if that does become the case, I'm going to the best house wifey ever. Tea on the table when you get home, anyone?

Beaverbrooks

Today I had a job interview at Beaverbrooks in Manchester. Its immense! You go in there, they offer you drinks, and then they help you find anything you need. S'like being a celebrity. I'm unsure how the interview went, it was informal, and there are formal interviews in three weeks. Its very nerve racking!
In other news, being pregnant is making me TIRED. I feel like I need a nap every two hours and my attention span is way out. I think Pregnant women should get a medal, because I'm seven weeks in and its already hard work! Also, I think I might be getting a little snappy. I'll try and keep that buried though !
Tomorrow is my first doctors appointment with my actual GP, so hopefully I'll get a little more information on the little person growing inside of me. I'm already taking Folic Acid daily, so I'm unsure what more info we'll get until we see a midwife. Then it'll be birth plans, and breathing techniques until due day! By our estimation, we should be due later november/early december, so it'll be a little Christmas baby! Yum :).

Gender

Boy or Girl? Myself, and Aaron, are unconcerned either way. We will have either, and we will be happy. However, some women are very much aware of what they want. Tonight, we've been watching '8 Boys and Wanting a Girl'. It follows several families in their quest for little girls, after having several boys. It goes into detail on a procedure named PGD, which can help a woman choose the gender of her children. This is currently illegal in the UK, which I think is wise, especially with the choices of Countries such as China, in their preference for boys.
It is sad to think that with all the women, the world over, who cannot concieve, and are desperate to have children, that there are women who have children, and are still unsatisfied purely based on gender. I think as a society, we have come to a point where we choose to go against nature, for selfish means, and we're ignoring what is best and right, in favour of our preferences and personal gains.
Gender is determined by the male, and which sperm is more dominant than others. In this way, many women end up blaming their other halfs for their lack of girls. During the programme, one woman admitted she had refused to marry her now husband, until he gave her a girl. Four boys and several thousand pounds later, she concieved twin girls through PGD.
I have talked to my bump today, and explained that it can be whatever it wants to be, whoever it wants to be and I will love it just the same whether it is male or female. Family is one of the most important things in life, and mine will be complete, with whatever we have.Children, boys or girls, are a blessing. It doesn't matter what they grow up to be, their interests and their hobbies. It matters that they can love, feel love, and are loved. What more in life could anyone possibly want for their children?

'Gonna Ride My Bike Until I Get Home'


Yesterday I got my first ever bike! It's not that I don't know how to ride one, don't worry, I learnt that a long time ago, I've just never owned one! Everyone remembers learning to ride a bike. It was actually Aaron who taught me how to ride a bike properly, in the park when we were eleven! So its definetly something we can share.
Today we went on a mega bike ride, down to see Aaron's lovely sister Becky, and niece Ava. It was ace! Being pregnant and cycling, however, is massively tiring! Its like you have to push the pedals twice as hard , and really give it some oomph! Totally worth it though. I got to see Aaron and Ava at the park, and he's really good with her. One special moment when he picked her up will always stay with me. He just looked so comfortable and Ava looked so cute, I could just imagine him with our baby. I think at that moment I realised what an amazing dad Aaron is going to be.
So now I have this major ideal about days at the park, and just generally having fun with the baby. Looking forward to everything.

Coming of Age.

So I had my hair chopped in, brand new full fringe. Just what the doctor ordered, and it makes me look a little older. This is becoming an increasing concern as the baby begins to grow. Am I going to be a 'teen mum'? At the moment, many signs point to yes. I don't look older than I am. I'm not the kind of girl who'll pile on make-up or dress like a thirty year old. I'm claiming Job Seekers Allowance as of today, and that is a MASSIVE deal, when you've had a steady job for almost three years. And I'm eighteen. So I guess you could say that is what I am.
Being a teen mum has so many negative connotations. The first of which is that teenage girls fall pregnant in order to get a flat from the Council. FALSE. I am not seeking Council housing and refuse to write myself on to the housing waiting list, I'll do just fine staying with family until Aaron and I have raised the funds for a house deposit. Teenage mums also carry 'slagtags'. As soon as a teenager strolls down the high street with a buggy in tow, the same judgement is passed. Not all teenage mums are entirely reckless. Accidents happen, and good on the girls for dealing with the consequences. In general, being a teenage mum is not a good look.
HOWEVER. I am on a mission to shake the negative tag. I think, all in all, I'll make a good mum, I've got my A Levels, and University is wide open for me. By the time baby is five, I'll have my degree. I plan to be Supermum, and not let a little 'bump' in the road stop me from living a great life.

Fat

I'm only, (according to predicitions) seven weeks pregnant, and already I am piling on the weight. My clothes are shrinking daily and for the most part, I am looking a little bedraggled. I feel a little retail therapy is in order, if only I could magic myself a new bank balance!
For now I will stick with looking frumpy and a little uncomfortable. Aaron is always reassuring but he has to say nice things, otherwise I will throw a tantrum!
I'm looking forward to a haircut (fingers crossed). I used to be the kind of girl who had her hair chopped every five weeks without fail and it was neat and pristine. Not so much anymore. I haven't had it done in six MONTHS. Literally, my dead ends are screaming out for attention.
Apart from that, everything is pretty much the same. We went through a whole load of baby clothes people have given us last night! They're so small! It's odd to think that we all used to be that size, and the fragility of babies frightens me! But prehaps more scary is the prospect of breastfeeding said baby.
The BBC are running 'Baby Season'., programmes based on parenthood and 'Bringing up Britain'. So Aaron and I decided to watch, 'Is Breast really best?' BAD IDEA. Some of the women were struggling so much with feeding their babies, it looked ridiculously painful. The presenter, Cherry Healey, who I have a massive amount of respect for, after watching her final stages of pregnancy last year on telly, seemed to have gotten the worst of it. She contracted mastitis which is an infection in your breast, and it sounded agonising. So it got me thinking whether breast feeding is going to be difficult for me. I do not like the sound of cracked and sore nipples, I do not look forward to being sucked on in any way BUT the benefits for your baby are so vast that I'm guessing it will be worth it. I'll tell you in seven months whether my Boobs have passed the test.

Job Hunting

Hello I'm Beth, I have two and a half years experience, fully trained to operate a till and a fully trained cook and I'm seven weeks pregnant. Hire me? No? Didn't think so either.
Finding a job when you're pregnant is extremely difficult. It makes every other qualification you have seem so insignificant. The fact that I work hard, and would give it 100%, it means nothing.
So on Friday, I'm off to the Job Center to sign on, for the first time ever. I have 12 GCSEs, three full A Levels, A*AB, and three AS levels , and I am going on the dole. This is not a winning situation for me or the Government, but Companies are so reluctant to take on Pregnant Women that this looks like the only option.
The problem is quite obvious, money. By taking on a woman who is pregnant, companies are setting themselves up for paying Statutory Maternity Pay, basically paying a woman to be on maternity leave. It's understandable.
So, I'm applying for as many jobs as possible, and hoping for the best. I really want the baby to have the best start in life, and saving up as much as possible seems to be the way to go! Aaron's managed to bag himself a job interview, and it's only been five days.
Jealousy is an ugly dress to wear.

Thumper

Aaron has been spending a lot of time listening to my tummy! We've made the oddest discovery that by pressing your ear to my belly button, you can here the baby's heartbeat. It's really loud and Caron (My second mum, Brom's real mum) has nicknamed it Thumper. It's nice to feel the baby is healthy and doing well since we haven't had a formal doctors meeting yet.
Miraculously, I'm already showing quite a bit. Its the kind of showing that manages to make me look chubby and not pregnant. Oh the joys. People are nothing but nice though, which makes it all better
I'm growing increasingly tired but still no throwing up as of yet! My mum informs me that she never experienced morning sickness, and she's had four , so I'm winning so far. However, the baby's already informing me of everything he or she doesn't like. So far it hates onion's with a vengence. I'm convinced it won't eat any when it arrives so there goes a lot of the basic foods that I love!
I'd stop eating anything for it though, motherly love is already setting in.

Relocation , Relocation

Apologies for my temporary absence from blogging, I was moving house! We have now returned to Manchester, and it is feeling gooood! Been very busy, packed out days so far, and we've still loads to unpack but we're making steady progress.
At the moment, it feels like we were never gone. Everythings is pretty much the same, and its lovely to have some familiarity. I'm excited to see how the Summer goes, though I do miss the Duchy and my friends there.
Probably the most pressing issue is the job hunt. Myself and Aaron have made a lovely trip to the Job Centre, and the Citizens Advice Bureau, and we've found out what benefits we're entitled to, and applied for Job Seekers Allowance, something which we never thought would happen to us. Unfortunately, trying to get a job when you're pregnant can be a bit daunting , and maybe a little impossible, but I'm giving it a go.
Everyone here has been great, and so so supportive. Its nice to be surrounded by family again, and just to have hugs! Not only that, the weathers been AMAZING. Today was 21 degrees! In Oldham! If you're from here , you'll understand what a rarity this is. Its been beautiful, even the sky has been a warm welcome.
I'm excited. Excited of the prospect of another summer of love with Brommers, excited to meet our new family addition. But most of all, I'm excited to hear my babies beating heart. It is that strong that Aaron's been able to listen to it through listen to my belly. I'm so jealous!
Roll on the Summer!

Sledgehammer

Ah. I remembered one more thing that I LOVE about the Duchy. Pirate FM Radio. They play crazy eighties music and I swear they have 'Sledgehammer' on repeat. Got to love it.
Packing up a house is so STRESSFUL. Me and the Brommers have been tidying, painting, cleaning, degreasing. Everything.
And now the house is just full of boxes and it is so so surreal. Being independent is scary, and its been a massive learning curve for both of us. The last sixth months have seen us move 400 miles from home, share our first house, and now we're expecting our first baby! Seems a lot for a small space of time.
But its exciting! My friends have bought me a hooded towel for the baby. Its thee cutest thing I've ever seen. I want to eat it for dinner. Speaking of dinner, men are impossible when it comes to deciding on food. I have sent Aaron out simply to grab some snacks. He's already rang three times asking questions and now he can't decide what to do. Oh, here he is again.
Men.

Friends


When you're pregnant, the nicest thing to have is friends and family. I feel really sad about leaving my Cornish family behind. They have been a massive support through this first week, and I'm really sad to be saying goodbye. I'll miss them terribly.
Had my last visit from two of the nicest lasses I've met here tonight. Its like closing a chapter of a book that isn't quite finished. I'm certain we'll be back for visits though, they are amazing people and I really want my baby to meet them.
I'm going to hate saying goodbye to Cornwall. Waking up to the sun and the sea everyday, the beach right on our doorstep and the beautiful boats in the harbour. It'll be a sad and sorry farewell. But most importantly, the friends I've made here are the kind of people you just know won't be forgotten. Certain people move in and out of your life, and most the really special ones are the ones who always seem to come back. the Duchy has left me with a lifetime of memories, and a pocketful of new and interesting people who I will always hold close. It's crazy to think that seven or eight months ago I thought I'd be here for three years, and thats been cut short, but its been short and sweet. I will miss our tiny flat, its only a studio so its like living in a matchbox sometimes, but it was our matchbox. I will miss popping over the road and watching the waves hit the harbour. I'll miss catching a boat to St Mawes. I'll miss eating Cornish Pasties and I'll even miss the crazy lady who lives upstairs. I'll miss running to the beach with Aaron, walking for miles, finding little alcoves, lying in the sun and running in the sea.
But most of all, I'll miss the girls who've made my time here so perfect and have been the most welcoming people I've met.
You we're my Cornish family. I'll never forget you. I'll pray for you everyday, and think of you always.
'You're on my heart, just like a tattoo'.

Scrabble Trickster


For my first day as an unemployed lady, myself and Aaron have indulged in a spot of retail therapy. By this I mean window shopping for the most part, but we did buy ourselves a new game; Scrabble Trickster. Those who know me will know, Scrabble is MY GAME. I rule all in the world of Scrabble and am virtually undefeatable. Not so much anymore.
Infuriatingly, Aaron has the upperhand in the fact that this game is all about cheating. You get given trick cards that say 'Make a player lose a turn', 'Spell a word anywhere on the board' and 'Steal your opponents last score'. I'm well unimpressed, and have already lost, twice.
I'm going to remain in high spirits though after discovering a new obsession; Baby Booties. Babies must have tiny tiny feet, only two of my fingers fit inside the pair i got today! My excuse is that they were only £4 and absolutely gorgeous.
See, winner. Also, my sister sent me a picture of some Adiddas Baby Trainers! Amazing stuff. Trainers for babies. Who'd have thought it? Anywho's, back to get my bum kicked at Scrabble Trickster. I will win. (Eventually.)

Back Ache

Only just over five weeks in, and the baby is already doing in my back. There isn't even a bump yet! Today was my last shift at Sainsburys, where I've been working for the last two and a half years. The people are lovely and I'm really gonna miss them, but I miss Oldham, and its diversity and my beautiful friends, so it'll be good to get back there in two weeks.
So, backache. I thought I was being wise today, sitting on checkouts instead of doing Cafe, and resting my back. Note to self, sitting down when you have backache is a bad bad idea. I've only made it worse. Progesterone softens the back and spine so the baby can grow, so at least if I'm in pain then I know the baby is growing healthily.
I love all the tips and quips I'm picking up from other mums. My boss was full of them, which I loved. Mother to six, she has ridiculous amounts of experience and it is so so useful. If you ever fall pregnant, find yourself a Carolyn, and you will be just fine. Things like, 'If you're feeling nauseous, then it means your baby is doing well', 'drinking ginger tea/ale will help you feel better' and 'Beth, are you sure your not pregnant?' The woman is wise.
So I'm officially a lady of leisure (particularly since Aaron won't let me lift a finger). I have no job, and potentially no career prospects for the next year or so. I can concentrate on being a yummy mummy. Time to crack open the antenatal Yoga DVD I feel.

Generosity.

Possibly one of the most endearing qualities to have is generosity. I count myself lucky to know a fair amount of people who possess it. I'm moving back home to Manchester in two weeks, and in with my fiancee's mum and her spouse Gary. These two people have shown me a lot of love over the past eleven months, and are welcoming me into their home with open arms.
My parents and the church they attend are already gathering things together for the baby, and a pram, a cot, baby clothes and toys, are piling up at my parents house.
Today at work, I recieved a wonderful present from my colleagues and my lovely boss. It's basically a baby starter kit, and has all sorts in it to get me going when the baby arrives. It is this kind of generosity that makes me melt inside.
I hope that one day I can return the favour to these people, but also that I will be able to pass on the valuable lesson that they have taught me.
As Winston Churchill once said,
'We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give'.

Money

Abba had it right. Money must be funny in a rich man's world. But not for the little people. i.e. Myself and over half the English population who feel that paying the bills on time is often as good as it gets. Myself and Aaron have been living alone, in our first rental house, for almost six months. It's been quite an experience. First of all comes the realisation that when your parents told you they simply couldn't afford it, they were telling the truth. As a child, you are firm in your beliefs that money grows on trees, and will simply appear if you wish hard enough for it. Not so much. These days, our bills are ever increasing, and our wallets are shrinking. Consider the amount that we spend paying bills.
First off there is rent. Currently, we're paying almost £500 a month for a studio flat. Yes that does mean that our bedroom is our living room. It is like staying in a hotel suite for a little too long! Renting should have its perks. It should come with a landlord or estate agent who is onhand to deal with complaints, fix problems and be generally involved in the state of their property. Think again my friends. The first week we moved in here, we realised our television cable had been cut from outside. We informed the estate agents, twice, who said they would get on to fixing it. They were 'waiting for a phone call back'. It is now five months into our let, and not so much as a reply. Also, they will let you go without a working shower for two weeks. Having to stand up on a towel to wash yourself is truly appealing. Go on, try it.
Renting isn't the only issue. Then comes on to, electricity, water, contents insurance, phone bills and council tax. All this on bottom rate wages is no easy feat. As of yet, we havent paid the council or electricity, since my hours at work are at an all time low, and being a Mcworker does come with all the connotations that it springs up. The council are impossible. They literally will not listen when you tell them you can't afford to pay up, or that you would like to attempt to pay little of at a time. They informed Aaron that he must wait to get a court summons before they could sort anything out for us. Thankyou very much Mr Cameron.
However, it isn't all that bad. Having a baby brings all of this into perspective. There is more to life than money. As long as you are attempting to make ends meet, and have your child's best interests at heart, than doing all you can is good enough. So what if every now and then the lights flicker off and you have to live by candlelight for a few days? When you're dead and gone the world will not remember that you didn't pay your council tax in Winter 2010/11, it will remember what you left behind. The wonderful children you raised, the love you shared with your family, and the kind of person you were to be around. And when our baby is here, I'm determined to show them that you can have it all, without a dime to your name.
I truly have.